And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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