You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
