My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
