it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
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