next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize