matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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