Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
