you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
