; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
