I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
