at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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