I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Randomize
