Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
