think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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