Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Randomize
