There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Randomize
