I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
