I'm lost and stupid without you.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
this just has baby written all over it
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Randomize
