i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
