found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Sorry about my life...
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
