This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
