sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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