i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
