"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
