Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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