that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
