Well apparently he's into motor boating.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
