Hey man sorry I got all grabby
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
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