he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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