so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize