I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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