i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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