wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
