I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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