Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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