but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
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