i think i have two assholes
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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