Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
