you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
