Rock
Scissors
Fuck
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I need to calm my uterus...
Randomize
