Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize
