Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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