When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
