Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
