Me too!
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
