so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
