i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
