You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
