Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Randomize
