his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
