oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
