Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
