to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize