Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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