The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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