As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
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