Umm I'm too high to move.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
