Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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