So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
My penis needs a shock collar
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
