No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
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